At Least...

“I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet” ~ Helen Keller

Many of you may know the work of research professor, Brene Brown. She has spent her career studying guilt and shame, vulnerability and empathy. I’m a fan of her work and find most of her conclusions to be insightful and empowering. Brene says an empathetic response rarely begins with “at least” as doing that has a way of minimizing the sorrow the person facing the hard circumstance is feeling. I get that, I do. I’ve had those moments when I just needed to cry and vent and feel all the crappy feelings that come with battling cancer, and in those moments I certainly didn’t want a pep talk. So… I get it. However, it is very easy to go to dark places when battling a potentially terminal disease. Really easy. The key is not dwelling in those dark places. Once I give power to the negative thoughts - game over. They can become all-consuming and it doesn’t take long for them to overshadow the good. And there is so. much. good.

I have so many memories of cancer patients I cared for who not only faced their cancer battle but had other devastating stressors in their lives. Cancer patients who fought their battle alone. Patients who died alone. Spouses and partners who left saying “I didn’t sign up for this!” People who didn’t have insurance. People who lost their jobs due to their health. People who had no faith or faith community to encourage and pray for them. People who didn’t even have transportation to their treatments. I know how bad it could be… I’ve seen it. So I have found myself saying “at least” a lot. Doing so resets my mind and thoughts on the many, many blessings that have been given to me through my cancer fight. At least… I have insurance. At least… I have an amazing support system. At least… I have loving work family and am not worried about losing my job. At least… I have a community of believers holding me up in prayer every day. At least… I have a near 100% survival rate. At least… I wasn’t diagnosed with a more detrimental cancer like lung or pancreatic. At least… I have an incredible husband and children who care and are with me every step of the way. At least… I have a safe, warm home where I can recover and heal. I could go on and on and on. At least, at least, at least… You’ve heard the saying, “it could always be worse,” right? Well, it’s true in most circumstances. Helen Keller, one of the most inspiring and empowering women in history, recognized this truth. Shoot, even Willie Nelson said “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” It definitely could be worse for me so I’m working hard each day to remember that and to notice and be thankful for every single blessing along the way.

If you’re facing a tough time or are finding yourself dwelling in those dark places, focused on everything that’s wrong, or the scary what-ifs, I encourage you to start throwing in some “at leasts.” Then when you recognize those blessings, pray. Give thanks for them. I promise it won’t take long before you have a long list of blessings to dwell on… then see how it changes your mindset. It’s a powerful practice and can make the biggest differences in the hardest circumstances. This season of my life will prove to be one of the darkest and scariest times of my life and practicing gratitude is absolutely changing my attitude (:

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances” I Thess. 5:16-17

“Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his steadfast love endures forever!” Psalm 118:1